So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
My Jokes
Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.
BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA
ALAKBAR
Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?
Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.
Stranger: Do you need a doctor?
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.
Why is my pee green? Because, "NEIN, ITCH BIEN FIRST REICH!"
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.
The librarian then asked me to take it out.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
Want to hear a joke? My life.
I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger before my eyes.
Then it hit me.
Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?
My life.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
