My jokes
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
Memes
Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?
Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
Suck my balls!
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
My balls when I see Tazzaro: boioioioioioing.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!