My jokes
My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.
The librarian then asked me to take it out.
Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.
Like and comment if you will be my friend!
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
I wish the grass in my yard was emo. It could just cut itself.
What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Why is my pee green? Because, "NEIN, ITCH BIEN FIRST REICH!"
My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
Deez nuts, can we get much higher?
Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.
Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Why did the terrorists crash?
They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.
Lol.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.