My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.
Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!
My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.
Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...
My Jokes
I can't wait to have 2020 in my hindsight.
I love riding my bike 🚲.
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
"Sigma" - By every boy in my class.
My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.
What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?
