My jokes

My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

My friend: Wanna hear a joke?

Me: No.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because you are a joke.

Friend: Your life is too...

Me: :)

Friends :)

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

Dude, people gotta stop letting 9/11 jokes fly around like bro, you're gonna make my brain explode!

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

My penis is longer than one inch.

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

Hahahaahhahahahah my joje.

Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”

Friend: Ok?

Me: I'mma hit puberty!

*hits my friend*

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.