My jokes

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.

Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.

I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

Think of your favorite singer. Now, go ask someone what is your favorite singer. My favorite singer is Halsey, BTS. Now think about your least fave, mine is Oil London 😵. This is my home now.

1. What rhymes with "oil"? Put it in da chat. Bye weird people!

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."