My jokes

My grandpa has the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Who wants to be my boyfriend?

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

Are you my friend?

Because I would make you more than that.

On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.