My jokes

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

My dad went to go get milk.

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?

A: Eat my dust.

I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."

Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.

My father was a great pilot. He died on 9/11.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?

Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.

What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?

I don't know. I still haven't found them.

You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.

I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."

Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,

"What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."

And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.

This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!