My Jokes

What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them

Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are a fine African meal." then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, "what poor taste?"

Police: Where do u live Me: With my parents Police: Where your parents live Me: With me Police: Where do you all live Me: Together Police: where is your house Me: Next to my neighbor Police: Where is your neighbor’s house Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house

i have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon"

This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash." Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔

Hey Siri, where is my dad? Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen! Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. ...WhAT-

Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.

today, i asked my phone, "siri why am i still single" and it activated the front camera

you wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "a refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it"

I wish my dad was home I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008

What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?

His life insurance...

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper But instead I showed them my wrists

my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.