My jokes

Grandmother

    • "My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

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    • Emo

    • So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

    But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

    So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

    This was the best day of my life.

    This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

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    • Sex

    • My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.

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    • Dog

    • People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.

    I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)

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    • Hare

    • I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"

    He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."

    Pedophile

    • My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”

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    • High-five

    • People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

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    • Love

    • A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."

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    • Explosion

    • I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?

    In an explosion.

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    • Cock

    • My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.

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    • EpiPen

    • I have an EpiPen.

    My friend gave it to me when he was dying.

    It seemed really important to him that I have it.

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    • Penis

    • Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...

    It's too hard.

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