My jokes
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
Suck my butts, queer.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.