My jokes

In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.

The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.

The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.

The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.

So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every beat of my heart, I'm devoted to you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?

Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."

My grandpa was the goat, he killed Hitler! 🥳🥳🥳

So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!

Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.

I said, "Maybe."

What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?

I cried when I cut up the onions.

My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.

He never talks about it.

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.