My jokes

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!

Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...

I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

Roses are red,

my life is a disaster,

the children are fast,

but the combine is F A S T E R!

Top 10 Cos:

1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco

Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.

"Hold my beer, watch this."

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.

I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.

Unleash the jokers...👍

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.