My jokes

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

Person 2: What was it?

Person 1: He went as himself.

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.

I got jealous when my phone died.

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.

Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.

He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!

A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"

Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."