My jokes

At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

My uncle was a priest.

He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.

An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"

Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.

Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!

Yeah, I stopped joking about 9/11. My jokes usually just ended up crashing and burning.

Me: "What are you doing??"

Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

Me: "I don't know."

Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation to the orphanage :)

I have an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow, u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller.