My jokes
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Bro, my forehead is so big whenever I need to find something on it, I need the exact coordinates.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
Why does my brother have no mom?
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
herishy, my little sissy dont report me.
I am cutie cutie, just like my bro, herishy.