My jokes
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
I'm sorry my jokes are so bad.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Hey, Mom, I am ugly.
"Facts," my mom says.
I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.