My jokes
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
One more 360 noscope for my montage.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.