My jokes

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.

The jury: O.o

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

Who sucked on my cock?

Answer: You.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

"My name is Dezz."

Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.

If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.

This. This is my class.

[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o)

Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.

I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀