My jokes

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

Who sucked on my cock?

Answer: You.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

"My name is Dezz."

Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.

If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.

This. This is my class.

[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xlzTJPmpV9o)

Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.

I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"

"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.

So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"

Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."