My jokes
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.
My friend told me an EMO joke once, and I said, "EMO jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
My name is Giselle.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!