My jokes

Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"

Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."

I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...

Onions was a good dog.

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.

That’s right, I have my own category😎

POV: me telling a joke.

My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.

Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

Are you George Floyd?

'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!

I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

What should my next YT vid be about?

What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean?

"Billie Jean is not my lover!"

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.