Music jokes
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
Beatles
Are cool.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
I tried to catch yodeling, but he evolved to yodingalig.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?
Then he gets into treble!
I love Little Mix.