Music jokes
I only trust people that like big butts... they cannot lie.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
What do Karens do when they have free time?
They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
Now from the top, make it drop, that's a WAP, that's a WAP.
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
Beatles
Are cool.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
I tried to catch yodeling, but he evolved to yodingalig.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....