Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
Your mum lol teehee
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
Your mum's so fat, she's the iceberg that sunk the Titanic!
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
suk ya mums bum
Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
Your mum's so dumb, she thought Pornhub was a corn hub!
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
My mom told me that She and the owner of Chinese made a deal. Now we l get free Chinese food. So .I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food then my mom said I love him long time.
