Mum jokes
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
Your mum gay, lol.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
Your momma!
Stop making jokes about cancer... I might sound like a Karen, but it’s not fair... My mum died of cancer last month, and still I cry nearly every night 🙏🏻
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
My mom is actually a mum! 😱
Why did the ground crack? Because of your mum!
Community
Guys Can I have some advice? I'm having some issues with my dad atm : - my step-mum screamed at me and my brother calling us liars and that we were bitching about them but, we never were - my dad is denying it happened even tho he was there. He's only doing it coz my step-mum is his wife - i get underfed when I visit him There are loads more that I don't remember I can't speak to my mum abt it tho coz she'll tell me to message my dad which is the last thing I want to do or that she'll message my dad which is another one of the last things I want to do
Js wanted to tell yall I wont be able to be on at night since I have to sleep in my mums room bcuz my uncles comin over.
If you are religious, what is considered bad in your religion but u still do it anyway?
For me I am Hindu, where you apparently can't eat beef bcuz cows are considered sacred, but I eat it anyway It didn't say anywhere that I can't eat pork so I do in rare occasions, but it's not my preferred type of meat
NOTE: My MUM (the strictest when it comes to what meat we* should consume and where) actually allows us to eat beef and pork but OUTSIDE THE HOUSE SHE AINT COOKING IT ANYTIME SOON EVEN THO SHE ATE A BEEF CHAPLI KEBAB AND LIKED IT *Me and my dad