Mum jokes
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Yo momma so gay, she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay!
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Ur mum gay.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
UR MUM!
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
Your mum is so fat, flat earthers think she's round!
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
Carys’s mum has chemo.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.
Why didn’t the orphan celebrate their birthday?
Because they didn’t have a mom to birth them.