Mum jokes
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
Stinking poo poo bum.
Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.