Mum jokes
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
Your mother.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
Your mum has balls.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.