Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
your mum has balls
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
My mum touch my friend but she wasn’t the she’s only 12
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throat a banana. I said why are you doing that for. I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood.
I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.
