Mum jokes
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
Your mother.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Your mum has balls.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.