Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Your mother.
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Your mum has balls.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
"Ur mum is big."
I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.
