"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Canβt get out of first gear!
I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Your hairline goes further back than your mums divorce
ur mother
