Mum jokes
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
What is Stephen Hawking's mum?
Your mum!
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?
Beauty!
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?
I can’t marmalade my cock into your mum’s arse.
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.