Mum jokes
Your mother.
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."
Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
Your mom dot com.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
Yo mum's so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.
Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
Your mum's got big tits.