Mum Jokes

ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor

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What do u call a person with hole in there shoe a. Christian

Your mum sunk in the pool Because she had a big but

Ur mum -oh wait,you don’t have that

My new step father told me that I'm his new son. so I say ok. My step father step father said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said yeah like what ? My step father said well you came out of your mother's pussy, I eat your mother's pussy. You use suck on your mother's tits, now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother use to smack you in the ass when you act up, now I smack your mom in the as now. Your mother call me daddy, now I am your new daddy.

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.

'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.

And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'

To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'

To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"

your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol find her reboot card lmfao lolololol

your mum is so slow it took her 9 months to make a joke

Yo mum is so fat when she weared yellow the kids thought they missed the bus

Yo mum is so ugly when she looked in the mirror it cracked

Your mum so ugly she could make a onion cry

ur mum so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost

Your mum is so fat when I see her I get depressed

Your mum is so fat flat earthers think shes round

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum Your anus looks like my mums bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo. I also just wanted to add that a goonies anus looks like my nans mouth