Mum jokes
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.
You're mum.
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.
Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.
Rhydon- son.
Rhydon? - mum.
RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.
Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.
XD
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
Stinking poo poo bum.
Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣