Much jokes

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.

I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.

One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.

(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)

Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?

Because they return eventually.

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.

The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.

Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?

It was too much pressure.

How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?

Enough to kill two and a half men.