Much jokes

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.

How much does a hipster weigh?

About an Instagram.

I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.

One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.

(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.

Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?

Because they return eventually.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?

One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"

The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."