Much jokes

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?

One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"

The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?

How much does a hipster weigh?

About an Instagram.

Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?

It was too much pressure.

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.

I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.