Bank

funny

what did the bank say to the person

Bank you very much

Fat

oli

what do you call steven hawkings when he eats to much? as fat as ben dingley

Yo mama

FRES

YO MAMMA EAT TO MUCH THAT SEE THEW UP A THOUSEND TIMES AND SAID HELP ME SON

Poor

Anonymous

So 3 guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank. The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily, and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man. The second one goes for his uncles vault because screw that son of a bh he’s rich why does he need all the money. But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephews neck. The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought “well that bh can suck my dk she’s so poor anyway who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness” so he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day the third guys ex showed up to his house and said “imma fg murder you” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house. In hell the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked “you know I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said “bh I don’t know maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already”

0

Guy

Stephen Walking

HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Prostitution

t h a t g u y

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag? There’s a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.

Sand

Anonymous

Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.

1

Orphan

Anonymous

FRIEND no so much " Hey wan to come to my house ?" sended
lonly ORPHAN/ trump " want to come to my orphaige? sended

FRIEND not so much " dude im  blocking you!" sended

Lonly orphan " :( sended

Adult

Anonymous

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I’m so homophobic I won’t suck a big dick that has ketchup on it

Crash

Anonymous

My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building. So he had a much better flying record.

Difference

smella!

i love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened but why isn’t anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were! :)

Fat

Person person the 3rd

My friend asked me: Friend: How much is your body worth? Me: 1 million. Friend: 1 million dollars?! Me: No. 1 million kilograms. Friend: Oh.

Nose

Anonymous

What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn’t know much? Nose-less

Foot

Anonymous

I used to have a girlfriend, who would argue with me a lot for no reason, I look at her feet and say to her, here is £15 give yourself a foot pedicure then come back to me it clearly shows you have man feet, you are a woman you should have woman feet, no wonder you boss me around too much as if your the man of the house.

Toilet

Anonymous

Two to the one from the one to the three I like good pussy and i like good trees Smoke so much weed you wouldn’t believe And i get more ass than a toilet seat Three to the one from the one to the three I met a bad bitch last night in the d Let me tell you how i made her leave with me Conversation and hennessey I’ve been to the motherfuckin’ mountain top Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped If i ain’t got a weapon i’ma pick up a rock And when i bust yo ass i’ma continue to rock Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet It’s real easy just follow the beat Don’t let that fine girl pass you by Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind

Dog

I know what you did

I’m happy that i named my dog i know what you did. Its funny to see how much people get scared when i call him.

Jack and Jill

dirty

jack and jill went up to an abanded house jack drank to much and unziped his fly jack said you know you wana jill said no so jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in jills mouth tied her to a bed he riped off her dress and underwere he took off his pants and his underwere to then put on a condum he then put a pill in her mouth and made he swalow one minit later she was asleep he took off her gag and mounded his self on her then stuck his candystick in her mouth next her fanny then his condum broke but he was to drunk to notised 9 month later a babys born and jacks in jail as the father

Deer

c r y

Boy:crap I hit a deer Girl:awe…I guess It’s not so much of a dear Boy:…

Boy:get the hell out

Farthing

Anonymous

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chilli in the bowl.