Much jokes

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

Roses are red, that much is true.

But violets are violet, not f*ing blue!

Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

People generalize others too much.

Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.

Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

How much cum does a gay guy have?

An ass loaded.

I love not much.

Me: It smells like good fam.

Friend: What's good fam?

Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.

Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights. There’s no reason she needs to talk that much; it’s not like replying to her is voice activated.

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe