Much jokes
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.
"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.