Much jokes

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.

He just couldn’t figure out who.

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.

Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?

How much did the haulla-cost?

My grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology." I said, "We will see about that," and I unplugged his life support.