I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck If a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Whats the diffrence between me and a hairdresser. We both cut too much
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
Go up to your friend and say: “It smells like updog.” They will likely reply: “What’s updog?” To which you reply: “Nothing much, what about you?”
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that." Then I unplugged his life support.
what did the bank say to the person
Bank you very much
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple Not F---ing blue!
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see then tumbling down the stairs.
sticks and stones may break my bones but a crowbar could do it so much quicker
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler
How much did the haulla-cost
