Much Jokes

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

Two men are sitting at a coffee table.

Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."

Joe: "Why do you say that?"

Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."

Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."

Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

Ever heard of the currency TNT?

All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!

How much context, pecker? You Press context categoria, go Discord.

Drink tea with friend game night.

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

Why did the booty break up with the fart?

It was just too much GASLIGHTING.

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”