Much jokes

How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?

Enough to kill two and a half men.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.

(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.

Why do Black people go to church so much?

Because the priest is the only father they know.

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.

So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

Why do orphans hate baseball so much?

Because they can't run home.

How much does a chimney cost?

It's free cause it's on the house.

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."