Much jokes
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-
I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
Gwen, please just come back. I love you and I miss you so much!