Movie jokes
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.