Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Movie Jokes
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
Octopussy.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
Nemo turned emo and changed his movie name to "Finding Emo."
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Q: What movie do emos relate the most to?
A: Suicide Squad.
EMMETT BROWN IS FAT.
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
