Movie jokes
Spaceballs: The Comment.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
Octopussy.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
Nemo turned emo and changed his movie name to "Finding Emo."
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.