Movie jokes
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
Spaceballs: The Comment.
Bet
Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.
If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."
Yo mama so ugly that when she watches "The Outsiders," they become "The Insiders."
"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."
- Captain Jack Sparrow
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
They call me Elsa cause I’m too icy! 🥶❄️
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
Octopussy.