Movie

Movie jokes

Pirate

Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?

Because it was rated ARRRR.

Mama

Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.

Guy

I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!

Memes

Family

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tears left to cry...

Cow

What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?

"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."

People

To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!

Kitten

Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.

Stephen Hawking

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

Cancer

Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."

Orange

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you going to the movies tonight?

Cat

What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?

"Romeow and Drooliet!"