Movie jokes
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Meme:
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
Yo mama is so fat, she got mixed up with Godzilla!
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣