Mouth jokes
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
Me: Can I borrow your CD?
Friend: What CD?
Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
How do rappers keep their breath fresh?
With some FRESH BEATS.
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."