Mouth jokes

"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."

Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!

(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)

Do you know Candice?

Candice dick fit in your mouth!

What did one nut say to the other nut?

A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

D: Johnny, Johnny.

J: Yes, Papa?

D: Eating sugar?

J: No, Papa!

D: Telling lies?

J: No, Papa!

D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)

I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.

What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

Can I put my baaaaalls in yo jaaaaaaws?

Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?

They take in 100's of kids.

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!

Question: Do you know who Candis is?

Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?