Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.
“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.
“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.
So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”
“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
