Mortality jokes
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
Man dies.
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Why are there gates on a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get inside. Lol
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.