Mortality jokes
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when kids get it.
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never grow old.
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Suicide is population control, republished.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
I'm dying... sike, I lied. You thought I died!