Mortality

Mortality jokes

Orphan

What's the best competition to do with an orphan?

Which orphan had their parent for the longest?

Baby

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Cancer

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

World

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

Kid

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

September

Cancer

It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!

Baby

What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?

They never grow old.

Child

How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.

Suicide

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

Kid

Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?

A. Nothing, they both die at ten.

Baby

What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Cancer

What’s the best part of stage four cancer?

A: There’s no stage five.

Cop

Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!