Mortality jokes
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
Suicidal people are groundbreaking.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."
Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.
They never get old.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
Oliver Savage's life.