Mortality

Mortality jokes

"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"

"To the morgue."

"What? But I’m not dead yet!"

"And we’re not there yet."

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can watch the expression on their face.

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  • Why did Joey drop his ice cream?

    He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)

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  • I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

    I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

    What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.

    Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?

    Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.

    Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?

    Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.

    People say that life is short.

    I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.