Mortality jokes
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
Oliver Savage's life.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never grow old.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.