Morbidity jokes
Cuddle with you.🙂
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.