What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard
Knock Knock! Who's their? It's Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled? The wheelchair floats to the top
In 2016, Americans took Orange is the new Black to a whole other level
What do you call a dog with no legs ?
It doesn't matter he isn't coming to you.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
i just found out my ex got stabbed today....lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make em, we scrape em. No fetus can beat us.
how do you pet a psychopaths cat?
you get it out of the microwave
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel it's skin off.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . "You little bastard!"
