Do you want to know how to make s Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled? The wheelchair floats to the top
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . "You little bastard!"
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make em, we scrape em. No fetus can beat us.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet then leave with your house and car.
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker
Roses are red violets are violet My grandad died in 9/11 He was a good pilot
What do you call a dog with no legs ?
It doesn't matter he isn't coming to you.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
how do you pet a psychopaths cat?
you get it out of the microwave
making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna
"I'd hit that"
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel it's skin off.
what do you call a retard smoking weed? a baked potato
And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster
