What's the difference between Mexicans and stoners? Stoners actually have papers.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
Me: spreading positivity.
Everyone else at the HIV testing center.
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
