Morbid jokes
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Me: spreading positivity.
Everyone else at the HIV testing center.