Morbid jokes
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.