Morbid jokes
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.