Why doesn’t the US wanna play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers and the UK has a unkillable queen.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor Talk about a failed marriage
Did you know cannabals ate kfc
Kentucky fried children
Give a man a match he'll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What’s the deference between a child and a suicider
One stays quiet forever...
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
How to know if your wife is dead ; well the sex is still trash ;but the dishes really start to pile up
Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am wan kin the chef." I said that I'll come back later
what was juice wrld before he was famous?
answer: alive
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey's F-king cooking show! Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SHIT!!! YOU CAN'T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH PORN DON'T YOU??!!!!!!
What was Hitler's lucky number? Nein
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a Suicide bomber in a wheel chair? A RC-XD.
What is the difference between a Apple and a Orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What do u call a white person having a seizure
A vanilla shake
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
