Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it Leaves and never comes back
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I F--ked did.
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple Not F---ing blue!
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex.
She was too young.
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition
Babies can spread a nasty smell,
especially when you haven't fed them for a month.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy, It usually takes me days
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, 'Well I have good news and bad news.' The woman says, 'I'll hear the good news first please.' The doctor replies 'The good news is we're naming a disease after you!'
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
What's the difference between a blonde and a masqueto?
A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
if a toy from toy story died, the kid wouldn't know and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse
Why Couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
